New Obsessions

It looks like Friday is turning into ‘let me tell you about my life’ day. Because, you know, my life is super interesting and all. *sarcasm*

As many of you will already know, I am sick.  I have been sick for a few weeks, but this week of all weeks was the week my body decided to get worse.  Did I say week enough? Week.  This basically means I have spent the entire week in bed feeling miserable and sick and coughing and aching and having a swollen uvula (because I’m too cool to get swollen tonsils like a normal human).  Today I have an earache to add to my list of ailments.

Hooray for me.

I’ve also been banned from eating chocolate because I may have eaten an entire block yesterday.  And even though boyf won’t be home until later tonight, I probably won’t buy any more chocolate.  Probably.

Due to my increasingly bad illness, I haven’t been doing a lot of work.  I have been keeping busy though, and that’s what I want to talk about today.

I have an addictive personality.  I don’t just enjoy things like normal people, I get obsessed.  I want to watch/read/listen to everything, do all the research, learn everything there is to know.  I can’t just play a game for an hour or two.  I can’t just do anything for an hour or two if my mind becomes obsessed.  It’s a bit of a problem (except when it’s being productive).

This week, I have discovered and become obsessed with three things.  They’re all reading/book related, so I’m counting it as research.

Be nice to me.  I’m sick.  Let me have this.

The first is a YouTube channel called ‘Books and Quills‘.  She has 448 videos (I didn’t even need to look that up…) and so far I have watched 363 since Sunday.

See what I mean by obsessed.

Sanne is a booktuber, so she makes videos about books (mostly).  And about being Dutch, which is awesome.

My second obsession is Goodreads.  I attempted to use this before but just got bored.  Now however, I’ve become a little bit obsessed, which has resulted in me getting grumpy that all my books are locked away so I can’t access them which means my list of books is incomplete and gah!!

My third obsession stemmed from both of these.  Book Depository.  (Click link at own risk.  I mean it. Own risk)

Oh. My. Goodness. For those who don’t know, it’s just an online bookshop.  WITH ALL THE EDITIONS.  AND ALL THE BOOKS.  AND FREE INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING.  AND NON ‘YOU LIVE IN AUSTRALIA AND THEREFORE SHOULD HAVE TO PAY SO MUCH MORE FOR BOOKS’ PRICES.  And all of this makes me VERY excited.  I’ve already made a list of 198 books I want to buy, many to replace editions of books I own that just aren’t awesome/pretty enough.  Guess who is going to have the BEST HOME LIBRARY EVER once she returns from Edinburgh and gets a new house?

ME!

So…yeah.  They’re my most recent ‘I’m too sick to be particularly coherent and everything hurts and why can’t I have more chocolate it’s delicious’ obsessions.

Do you get obsessed with things?  What have you been obsessed with recently that might make me feel better about the fact I have literally spent about 20 hours in the past two days on Book Depository comparing editions of books….

 

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4 thoughts on “New Obsessions

  1. I feel like that sentence with week almost every other word should have ended with weak…mostly because I enjoy puns, and that pun obviously makes sense. Also, I’m sorry you’ve been ill but excited/nervous about the Book Depository. Very, very nervous.

  2. I can help you!

    First, I’m sending you all kinds of healing vibes your way. They might take a long time to travel so far, but they are on their way…

    Next, let me suggest a word change that will hopefully lead to a thought change…

    Let’s replace ‘obsession’ with ‘deep engagement’.

    See? Now it doesn’t sound like something to feel guilty about, right? Instead, it’s you going deep into things that fascinate your mind. You’re exercising your brain while your body is out of commission.

    I’ve written before about how my creative life is like an ocean with its tides – high, ebb, and slack. High tide is when the words and ideas pour from me so fast that I can’t keep up with them. Slack tide is more like a status quo – I’m writing, and learning, with something like balance.

    But ebb tide….

    Ebb tide is when I need input – vast quantities of input. I engage deeply with many things. I crave ideas, newness, things to simmer in a rich stew with other things, to give me new ideas, new insights – new words and new worlds!

    I’ve had people tell me I’m obsessed…with Paul Simon’s music, with Spock, with Trip and T’Pol, with unschooling, with other things over the years…

    But it’s not obsession. Obsession disables.

    This is deep engagement. And it’s about more than the subject of the engagement.

    It’s about ME. I am fascinated by things that resonate with my mind, my experiences, my life, and my self. I’m finding something there that is elemental and deeply enriching, on a level deeper than language.

    I’m feeding my soul something even better than chocolate – really!

    I think you and I are kindred, that way.

    I think you’re fine. The specific nature of your engagement is unique to you and your life and your right now.

    Many people don’t understand this going deep. They get used to the way school handles things – and so they do what they’re required to do, and don’t delve deeper.

    But some of us ARE delvers, and we would be cheating ourselves to only skim the surfaces of things that compel us.

    I turned 45 this summer. Maybe it’s being about halfway through my life; I know now that I don’t have unlimited time before me. I’m not willing to live less than a joyful life. I’m not willing to say no to my soul and my need to delve to seem ‘normal” (I’m not normal; never have been, so I might as well own being an individual!).

    And I’ve gotten so much joy, so much value in that deep engagement.

    My house is, I suspect, way too little, and, with four adult-sized people and thousands of books already in residence- not going near that book site – because there’s no way I wouldn’t get lost in euphoria and longing, in there….

    I hope I’ve helped a little. I hope you and your uvula re well on the mend by the time you read this (my 10yo loves uvulas – she’s also a delver). I think I’ve written the base of another blogpost here, so I helped me, too!

    Be well, and be delighted! =D

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