WIPpet Wednesday and a mid-week update

It is now July 3rd, which means we’re three days into the second half of 2014. That came around quickly! I, like so many others it seems, feel extraordinarily motivated for this half of the year. Inspired by the blogs I follow (most of whom are fellow WIPpeteers – check them out at the link below!), I have decided to commit to my writing goals and, for once, make them I priority. I know I said something similar a few months ago, but life got in the way, which happens. I will be sharing my monthly goals type thing in a pre-prepared blog post on Monday (for the next round of ROW80, which I have been encouraged to participate in), as well as recapping my goals for this week on Friday (with pictures! – if I can work out how to insert them). For now, I will just tell you that one of my goals has been completed, I’m set to complete another two(ish) today, and I’m feeling pretty good about my plans for the last one! 

Now, onto WIPpet Wednesday! I have unfortunately not even completed edits on chapter 1 of Rebellion (which, in my defense, is more like an entire chapter rewrite!), therefore the following excerpt (from chapter 2) is well and truly unedited.  But that’s ideal.  I want to know what you think of it, whether you like it, find it useful, or think it’s completely useless. Would it draw you in, or leave you indifferent? Today, I have 10 sentences (3+7) for you from the first part of chapter 2. I realise that Wednesday was the 2nd, but you get an extra sentence because I was late this week! 

Carithno had outgrown the farms that stretched between its towering wall and the forest many centuries ago, yet no one had been willing to expand the beyond the wall, so they survived, even if only to act as an extra barrier for the city. The fields followed the curve of the wall as it gradually curved out of sight on either side of her, and ahead of the forest seemed distant. Only the inhabitants of the small cottages scattered throughout the expanse of land. In the distance, dogs barked into the dusk, but whether in warning or excitement she could not tell. Many of the houses were familiar to her, having stayed with the farmers the nights it had been too dangerous to head straight into the forest. She had spent those nights curled in front of the fire on wooden floors that smelt of animals and dust, listening cautiously for the crunch of hooves against stone paths, and the clink of armour as it moved. Despite the risks, she enjoyed staying with the farmers. They were cautious of outsiders and strangers alike, opening their homes only to a select few. Her privilege had been won from her accidental saving of the child of one of the farmers year ago, and since then she had been welcomed into their strange, close community, appreciating and reciprocating their strict policy of no questions asked, no answers given. “Taura, m’girl,” one of the farmers had whispered to her once as she was bustled inside in the darkness, “you’re like us, y’know. Y’understand privacy, don’t ask too many questions, and y’sure don’t give any answers.” 

WIPpet Wednesday, the genius idea of K.L Schwengel, and other WIPpeteers can be found here. See you Friday! 

 

 

 

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15 thoughts on “WIPpet Wednesday and a mid-week update

  1. I was drawn into this – but I could have been more so if you set her into one moment, and included more in the way of dialogue and interaction. I think, with a bit or reworking, you could really liven up this passage- it might be better to have her pulled into the home, settled before the fire, barely in time to safely hear the armor passing…and then to have her imagining where the interlopers were based on her awareness of the surrounding area.

    I do see lots of potential here.

    1. Thank you! I knew I definitely wanted to rework it, but I wasn’t sure how. Your suggestion is great though, I think I’ll definitely see what I can do to tweak it. You’re quickly becoming one of my favourite bloggers because of how willing you are to interact and help! And I love your writing!

      1. *blushes*

        Thanks. I like helping; it makes me feel good. And it’s easy to spot the things that always trip me up in rough drafts, too! I’ve probably written thousands of passages of that type. I seem to fall right into them when I’m trying to get a story out raw.

        I’m happy to have offered a tool you can use, and to interact. You’ve got the seeds, it’s just a matter of fine-tuning.

      2. I’m the same! The passage is from my draft from September, and I always seem to fall into them when I’m just writing.

        This is why I wanted to do things like WIPpet Wednesday and ROW80, to get feedback and interact with other writers!

      3. I’s a big reason why I do them, as well. With the current WIP, I’m editing each snippet before posting. They’ll still have a way to go to be polished, but it gives me a head start and the stories are getting better a little bit at a time, which is kind of cool.

        And the comments really do help – not just for the current snippet, but for those that follow, too, most times.

        ROW80 is a different, more general type of feedback, but still very valuable. I hope you’ll enjoy it, as well.

  2. So often when you see an exclusive group like this, they require lots of information about someone before they let them in. I think it’s great that you turn it the opposite direction and have these people appreciating Taura because she keeps her business to herself. 🙂

  3. Ooh, interesting. I like the part about “no questions asked, no answers given.” Fascinating, because even when no one’s asked a question, sometimes an answer can be given. So I like that it’s both sides of that.

  4. I agree with Shan. I was definitely drawn into this, but I needed more. The first half and second half were a bit confusing put together. There needed to be a transition so I knew that we were switching from talking about the village to the girl. Shan had some good ideas though! The would you’ve set up here is definitely interesting!

  5. I’m an inquisitive person. This village is one I would NOT like to be involved in. The suggestions from Shanjeniah are good, so I’m not going to add, but just support what she’s said.

    An interesting world that speaks loudly of mystery 🙂 I want to know!!!!!

    1. Haba I think I would struggle not asking questions, but I’d enjoy not giving answers!

      I’m almost up to editing the chapter with this excerpt, and I’m so excited to take on board everyone’s advice!

      I’m glad the world has drawn you in, that’s a good sign!

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