I hated university this semester. I was miserable. I hated my subjects. I hated having to go into uni so much that I rarely went to lectures, and only went to tutorials because they were compulsory. I stopped doing my readings for some subjects. I wanted to drop out. I wanted to get a full time job. I wanted to change degrees. Yet somehow I made it through the semester (I only have one exam left to do and them I’m finished), and I feel as though it has been the most useful yet for me since starting university last year. Why? Because it made me realise so much about what I want to do and where I want to be in the future.
I had three realisations this semester. Firstly, I want to write. It’s what I love, and what I would do all day every day if I was able to. I study history and politics because they interest me, but I would rather write about the politics and history of the worlds in my head than spend the rest of my life doing academic research. I love to be inspired by the world around me, what’s really happening in politics and what happened in history to shape society today, but I want to be able to express that through my writing, not a never ending stream of research essays. This doesn’t mean I’m going to drop out of uni, but it has given me a sense of direction in terms of why I’m actually doing my degree.
Secondly, I want to travel and live overseas. This isn’t a particularly new realisation, I’ve always wanted to travel through Europe and live in either England, Austria or Germany. This semester has just made it even more apparent. So much so that I’ve recently put in my application for a year long exchange to either Germany, the Netherlands or Copenhagen in 2015. This was such a massive step for me, but I’m already so excited to go. I want to explore the world, learn new languages, and find new places to inspire me. Finishing my bachelor’s degree overseas seemed like the perfect way to do this. After that, who knows, but I’d definitely love to live in Scotland or Wales for a year as well!
My final realisation this semester was that I only want to do post-grad study if I can write and travel as well. I love the University of Adelaide, and Adelaide is a fantastic city to live in, but I also want so much more. My dream would be to study at the University of Edinburgh, Cambridge, or Oxford, but who knows, I might find somewhere even more awesome! I want to live somewhere beautiful and write, studying would just be a bonus, perhaps.
So, what does all of this mean for my writing then? First and foremost, I’ve realised that sacrificing writing for university isn’t going to make me happy. Which means, despite my inability to stick to schedules, I’m going to try my hardest next semester not to let my writing disappear in place of assignments, reading, and general university commitments. Tune in tomorrow for my writing goals, as I prepare to embark on this new, ‘I am in fact organised and serious about being a writer’ stage of life.